Stuck in a Marriage not made in Heaven!!

We were both a bit shy in the beginning in accepting each other. You know, I with my macho awkwardness in approaching something supposed to be so exquisite, and she with a humble recognition of the fact that a guy from a remote & rowdy town in Western U.P. had broken down her snobbish defences. We were all that two lost souls are at the beginning of such a relationship. A relationship developed under the load of parental expectations and societal pressure.

But, I had seen the Platinum ads where a couple bound together in the same fashion as ours, would eventually find their own day of love. Being optimistic to the extent of being foolhardy and an eternal worshipper of love & romance, I decided that I would leave no stone unturned in re-defining our relationship status, to that of 'Being in Love'!

So, I worked hard towards it, day & night ;) ... and though she was a bit distant in the beginning, over a period of substantial time, she came around too... at least a bit I must say. We would spend time together, communicate to each other as much as possible, in fact I went into a state of total devotion thinking about her all the breathing moments of my life... but things were never as the one in the Platinum ad. And how could they be...

For this was one relation formed on complete opposite notions of the one thing that makes mankind superior... "Free Will" (at least, that's what they said it was in The Matrix!)

She was everything that I ever thought of... mysterious, crazy, creative, even beautiful; and in her own words, I was everything that she ever wanted in a partner... smart, decisive, dedicated and above all with a humour bone. But, at best her feeling for me could at best be described as respect and mine for her as dedication... we never did find our 'Day of Love'...

So last year, we separated and tried to live our lives the way we both always wanted... independent, free & happy. I am damn well sure I was all of this, but then there is this thing about getting comfortable with someone's presence so much so that living apart, even if in a happier state, is just not possible. So, we got back together this summer.

Today it's 6 whole months that I am back again with her... "My Exquisite IT Job", a life partner chosen by the parents... a decision driven by the mind and not the heart, and I am pretty well sure that I will never fall in Love with this...

Why, some may ask... well, maybe 'cos someone forgot to compare the horoscopes :P

Oh… for the love of Economics!!

When I was a kid, and yes - a looonggg loooonnnnngggg time ago, English & Economics were the two most important Es of my life. But, as luck and the ever expectant Indian society of the 90s would have it, I got hooked up with their evil sister Engineering.

Honestly, my Dad did make sense to my Saturn influenced Capri Moon 17 year old realistic mind, when he said...

"Eng & Eco are things you can follow as an interest all your life, you should plan to get into something more substantial career-wise"

And I did the same. Not that I didn't like it or anything, you know being blessed with a brilliant mind a la Sheldon Cooper, one often does not mind picking up anything. But, yes I did think it to be beneath me (again a la Sheldon) :D

But, much about that later sometime...

So, bugged up by the nagging arguments of an IT job, my chosen life partner, I gave it all up last year. In pursuit of the true love of my heart...

I wrote, I read, I watched movies, theatre, also danced a bit but the icing on the cake was that I patched up with my childhood sweetheart, the Elegant Economics!

From Harrod-Domar to Solow to understanding the intricacies of all things Keynesian, the feeling was somewhat like being reunited with your childhood love whom you had to leave behind as your Dad gets transferred to some other town.

Oh, the string of ruins of young beating hearts that your parents' transferrable jobs leave behind... letting them to manage with rock songs and bits of rhyming cute adolescent poetry. Of course, only until a look and a smile tugs again at your heartstrings, steers your poetry from the seemingly endless abyss of pathos to that wonderful feeling called romance, and makes you switch to love ballads with promises of 'forever and a day', alas till the next transfer...

To be very honest, I was kind of Kevinesque from 'The Wonder Years', but then much about that too later ;)

Anyway, I am back with Eco now and it sure feels like I am back in school. I am happy, carefree and even careless, confident and even cocky ... basically, I am Me, and you know 'Being Me', well that's something :)

And with her, out came all other friends from my late teens, hiding due to the dark dementor-ish shadows of 'you know who' in my life... Magical Maths, Sexy Stats, so aptly called as isn't it Stats that is the measure of sexiness in the other walks of life as well... ;), Groovy Graphs and even the Confounded Calculus are all there now, shouting, screaming, demanding my attention and even back slapping and stumping me all the time. 

Night outs, sleepovers, challenges, races, dares... oh life is so much fun

And am I loving it... a big hell yeah :D

Dazzling dose of Democracy!!

Super Sunday today, and what a remarkable feat for our nation's democracy...

Governance and public policy have been topics close to my heart ever since I was a kid. My favourite reads are 'First among the Equals' & 'Yes Minister!' and I love watching 'The West Wing' as much as I love watching 'Friends'...

Having grown up in a family full of academicians with strong political leanings, I have listened to the stories of history making decisions, the other side of the emergency, the intricacies of the Indo China war, the rhetoric for poverty elimination and what not!

But the most amazing thing was that though our family had borne the brunt of the Partition pretty close, I never heard my Dad (who lost his own during the '47 riots) or my uncles (who were one of the few left alive in that infamous train full of bodies), talk anything about the polity decision of bifurcating the nation. All I learnt from them was that 'We should build our own destiny', and oh did they not do the same... in an amazingly spectacular way too.

Were they heroes or mere escapists, I never contemplated... in retrospect however, I do think that the first generation of us 'Refugees' had so much to build in their own personal lives that building the nation had to take a backseat for them. And honestly, there weren't any options!!

My elder brother must have felt the same, so in that age gloriously known as the 'troubled teens', when we were living a merely 200 odd miles from a falling down contentious building, while the other 12-13 year olds chose to enjoy the month long forced 'pseudo' winter vacation, my brother chose the option. And from that day onwards, our family became a truly democratic one with at least 2 different approaches being discussed on the dinner table. My brother, he is a real hero 'cos he made a choice.

I still won't. And from just being a sissy escapist in my pre-teens to a cynic now in my mid-thirties, I have never truly broken out from the inherent servitude of an enslaved mind. I used to and still believe that business and by extension of its definition politics has always been a family thing. And every passing year with the introduction of one scion of a family after another (and this is across party lines), my belief got affirmed.

And by the way, the return of the so called 'Mentor' of my previous organization back into executive decision making, with 'sonnyboy' in tow, has proven me so right when it comes to business. But about that, some other time. 

So, today when it was the day of election results, I did what most of us choose to do. Grab a Pizza and popcorn, sit in front of the television and feel 'involved' in the process. And when there was some sort of a history being made in our nation's capital today, I was discussing with my friends about what is going to happen next... you know, in my circles I am some sort of a political strategy guru!

But is this actually an involvement?

I mean, I won't change my leanings, to be very honest, but was it right on my part to be 'involved' in the way I did today.

You would find so many people of our generation, the original Gen X - the 90s Teens, talking about the young ones now and criticizing their lack of interest in national issues. Blaming them to be so self occupied, unlike people from our times... but is it not their actual involvement in the process that has brought about a significant change in the way the nation will be seeing governance now? And what have we done apart from having popcorn and analyzing the results?

Honestly, I felt like a fool today. Rather like those crazy cricket fans who would cry if Kambli cries and die if Sachin gets out on 99. It was a rollercoaster result session no doubt and wonderful entertainment for the day.

But is that what democracy, the teachings of my elders, the belief of my parents and the courage to make a choice of my brother, has been reduced to for me... entertainment... I ask myself today!!

So kool!! … Seriously!!!… Wow!!!

'RSS Feed'... it struck me.... what was that?

I had heard of it some place, wasn't it the little irritant that slowed down my incoming mail or was it some kinda social charity type community meal provided by one pretty controversial body in our country :/

"...so the feed of this is way better than that other one", the jingle of her excited voice was ringing in my ears, but I was still stuck at, yes you know it, 'RSS Feed'...

Talking to these Gen X (or Y or Z or ß, π, ø!!!) people often leaves me feeling like a fool later. Actually, to salvage my own image, having masqueraded as a software guy for over a decade now, I can't admit ignorance in such areas. The computer is dumb so it can't tell, but these bloody whiz kids...

So I generally end up saying, 'Oh, is it? This is pretty kool' types...

To top it all, what I also do is observe such stuff and bring it to conversation… myself, can you believe that... some masochistic quirk of a Cancer ascendant, I suppose!!

Anyway, the other day I saw this amazing 2"x2" thingamajig that can be attached to a phone and it turns into a credit card swipe machine... I was like "Wooooo" !!

And as I told this to a kid in office, the excitement in his voice and the look on his face was just about going to make my day when he asked, '...so was it a PDA or a Smartphone?'

Damn, aren't they the same :(

I so felt like Calvin's dad, when I weighed my options and ruling in favor of one said…

'Not a PDA dude, just an Android phone like yours!!', the wavering conviction in my voice strengthening with the look of awe on his face.... phew, close shave!!

"....so what we can do is that we can link the two together, to get the best of both things", that darling little chatterbox was still explaining stuff to me, and I wondered how our roles were totally reversed.

It was not very long ago when I told her about µ (mu - some optics thing in Physics... blech!!), and now for any doubts in µTorrent (or for that matter Whatsapp, Smartphone, FB, IG, Hashtag, Weebly, Blogspot...), I go rushing to her...

Or was it actually a long time, 9 odd years are a long time I suppose, shucks I am so outdated man :(

"...actually, the thing is that this is from Google, so it has got a better support than the other...", her voice trailing away as I 'Hmm..ed' & 'Seriously...ed' from my side, at the same time thanking her for mentioning the answer to all my prayers... Google!

Google, you are a lifesaver, my knight in a dashing Chrome theme, the support for my ageing self... or as they say now-a-days, you are my BFF :D

So, the very next morning, I scoured the soul of internet, a la Holmes with dear Goog being my trusted Watson and got to know what 'RSS Feed' was... finally!!

Confident, feeling young and in, I call her up and off the little sweetheart goes...

"... you know, I tethered my phone with my Dell and it was not the normal hotspot thing, its a Virtual Router Manager...."

'Tether', 'hotspot', 'Virtual something..', bamboozled, I cried out loud….

"Google my friend, where art thou!!"

Mi Amor por Comida!!

Once a prolific wizard of the kitchen, I have now relegated my cooking skills to quickies like Maggi, cornflakes and my favourite Wai Wai noodles - just heat the water for a minute or so, pour on the noodles y ya :)

Nonetheless my love for food and the never to be fulfilled desire of owning a restaurant, never to be fulfilled 'cos I dumped the whole idea myself....too much work and involvement, and to top it all stories like people in this business don't get to enjoy their own meals most of the time.. I was like, then what's the whole point!!

Anyway, where were we, now this is a big problem with me trying to pen my thoughts coz they tend to run scatter like children running out of school, especially the ones in the local government school - the happiness on their face so evident as if mocking the sanity of such polity as to make education mandatory when there ain't no food at home, most cases not even a home and no bloody damned opportunity…




Well, polity discussion later, where was I …  hmm… children, my restaurant, my love for food… yes, that one -"mi amor por comida"


Ya, I tend to get talking in Spanish, its just a bloody showoff thing, being in Latam and all you know. While the truth is that in front of people actually talking in Spanish (back there in Latam, yeah ;)) … well, in front of them my lips were sealed like the constricted ass of a constipated moron… :P

Oh Lord, another tangent…

So I was talking about, and this time I remember. Ya I do that you know, I remember stuff, some people call me sharp brain, brilliant mind, even rare DNA and stuff. But I like to think of myself as just a bloody freaking genius, eccentric, egocentric and simply amazing, and a bit.. err... a big showoff, as the Spanish thing you see ;)

Ok, so what I remember is that my love for food and the deprivation of pursuing it due to this global delivery IT model that I am an irreplaceable part of (why irreplaceable you may ask, well 'cos m da  best...and a big showoff!! ) 

Anyway, it got me thinking and a wonderful thought came to me. Isn't it all the same, the GDM and the restaurant business?

Its like the Project Manager is the Chef (that's me ofcourse), the Technical Architect is the Sous Chef, the onsite co-ordinator is the Maitre D', the Development team is a bunch of Cooks and the Implementation folks are all Waiters!!


Nice way to look at things, atleast today in office I will feel as if I am working in a restaurant :D


Btw, that's all I wanted to tell today…..about my cooking, ambitions, school children, their opportunities, Latam & ofcourse Spanish, GDM, my work and my DNA - keep watching this space!!

Later guys ;)