Saturday, February 8, 2014

Lunchbox in a dropbox... & all this $#!T!!


Happened to watch 'The Lunchbox' a couple of weeks back, and oh, was it delicious ;)

It so happened that I was introduced to this old but amazing funda of file sharing through the Internet by my "tech-guru", and one of the first things that were dropped into the box was this amazing movie. What a delight to have such resourceful knowing people around.

Well, 'having people around' - that brings me to the way I felt after the movie. As I said earlier, it is a beautiful movie and plain delicious - but the same cannot be said about the aftertaste. For example, it was a sad reflection of my current life in more ways than one, like the way the guy yearns for good food, watches the telly aimlessly for hours after office (and of course either having eaten out or brought the 'outside' food home)... and the worst of all, the way he was subtly reminded of his aging old self.

I am not at all a near retirement age as the protagonist (for god's sake, I still have more than a score to reach there), but there are times when I do feel as if the vibrant, exciting, and ever-so-enthusiastic self of my past has given way to a brooding grumpy aging persona. Life for now is just a bit too boring. And there are incidents too... like this one time in the bus back from office, a young lad from my office urged me to take the seat that just got vacant... I mean, it was killing... :(

The worst part of it all, it makes me bitter... as the protagonist, and it makes me miss people. Well, I believe here is where the similarity ends... 'cos the character in the movie was way more mature than I could ever even think of being. I just can't handle all the solitude & the frustration in a... well, 'grown up' way.

The thing is that I am a people person, and I have always been... and oh do I love to talk. And all I had to speak to a live person since the morning today were three words 'backup?' - to the apartment maintenance guy, 'shave' - to the barber and 'tea' - to the panwala round the corner. Its just so frustrating... seriously

Staying away from the people I love the most in the world, its just adds up to it all, and brings the hedonistic Arian child out and makes me clingy & needy, and I do all that excessively. Hedonist I say because it's all about me then. I tend to just grab hold of the phone or a Skype session as if it's an oxygen tank for a breathing disabled, irrespective of any respect for the time of others. It's funny in a way you know, 'cos later I feel as if I am turning into that 'oh-he-called-forget-about-the-to-do-list-damn-it' kind of a guy... and then it's not even funny, rather kinda hurts...

And then I have this kinda corny "misser-missee" theory of my own, wherein whenever a misser misses the missee, it is indeed the missers own need without any thought of the fact that the missee might not be missing the misser you know… so, its hedonistic!!

But enough of it all... now, I have decided to 'grow up'. Again... some may say, but this time its serious. I mean, I am reading books, writing shit like this, watching romantic comedies with a hint of a tear in my eyes every time a heart-tugging moment comes, cooking (with a taped leakage in the cylinder)... and basically turning myself into a matured, focussed and deeply serious person like the protagonist in the movie.

In any case, the actor... the way he is built especially, has been the way I always wanted to look since my childhood... you know tall, lean & serious brooding types. Never have been successful, but then anytime is a good time to start. So for starters, I now have a moustache... and I know that the stupid nature won't allow me to be any taller but at the very least I can try to be leaner before I turn 35 this March...

Ya, I am only 34, feel a 100... and wish I am able to act at least 30 ;)


p.s. dear dear ones please don't believe this $#!t... I miss you all :P

Sunday, February 2, 2014

अब सोने को जी करता है...


जाने क्या हुआ है मुझको, क्यों रोने को जी करता है 
थका हूँ माँ अब तेरी गोद में सोने को जी करता है

बहुत चमक है जीवन में, जब आँखें चुँधियातीं हैं
सर रख गोद में अपनी, आँचल का एक किनारा दे दे
दौड़ कठिन है ये बहुत, पाँव जब लड़खड़ाते हैं 
जिस उंगली को पकड़ चला मैं, उस उंगली का सहारा दे दे 

बहुत हो गया हल्ला गुल्ला, चुप होने को जी करता है 
थका हूँ माँ अब तेरी गोद में सोने को जी करता है 

जब लगे मैं हुआ अकेला, दोस्त यार सब बिखर चले
अपनी लोरी के बोलों से, प्यार मुझे वो सारा दे दे 
चोट लगे जब मुझको गिर, उठने कि ना हिम्मत हो 
भाग लगा के सीने से मुझे, हाथों का सहारा दे दे 

सारे दर्द तेरे साये में अब, डबोने को जी करता है 
थका हूँ माँ अब तेरी गोद में सोने को जी करता है