Happened to watch 'The Lunchbox'
a couple of weeks back, and oh, was it delicious ;)
It so happened that I was
introduced to this old but amazing funda of file sharing through the Internet
by my "tech-guru", and one of the first things that were dropped into
the box was this amazing movie. What a delight to have such resourceful knowing
people around.
Well, 'having people around' -
that brings me to the way I felt after the movie. As I said earlier, it is a
beautiful movie and plain delicious - but the same cannot be said about the
aftertaste. For example, it was a sad reflection of my current life in more
ways than one, like the way the guy yearns for good food, watches the telly
aimlessly for hours after office (and of course either having eaten out or
brought the 'outside' food home)... and the worst of all, the way he was subtly
reminded of his aging old self.
I am not at all a near retirement
age as the protagonist (for god's sake, I still have more than a score to reach
there), but there are times when I do feel as if the vibrant, exciting, and
ever-so-enthusiastic self of my past has given way to a brooding grumpy aging
persona. Life for now is just a bit too boring. And there are incidents too...
like this one time in the bus back from office, a young lad from my office
urged me to take the seat that just got vacant... I mean, it was killing... :(
The worst part of it all, it
makes me bitter... as the protagonist, and it makes me miss people. Well, I
believe here is where the similarity ends... 'cos the character in the movie
was way more mature than I could ever even think of being. I just can't handle
all the solitude & the frustration in a... well, 'grown up' way.
The thing is that I am a people
person, and I have always been... and oh do I love to talk. And all I had to
speak to a live person since the morning today were three words 'backup?' - to
the apartment maintenance guy, 'shave' - to the barber and 'tea' - to the
panwala round the corner. Its just so frustrating... seriously
Staying away from the people I
love the most in the world, its just adds up to it all, and brings the
hedonistic Arian child out and makes me clingy & needy, and I do all that
excessively. Hedonist I say because it's all about me then. I tend to just grab
hold of the phone or a Skype session as if it's an oxygen tank for a breathing
disabled, irrespective of any respect for the time of others. It's funny in a
way you know, 'cos later I feel as if I am turning into that
'oh-he-called-forget-about-the-to-do-list-damn-it' kind of a guy... and then
it's not even funny, rather kinda hurts...
And then I have this kinda corny
"misser-missee" theory of my own, wherein whenever a misser misses
the missee, it is indeed the missers own need without any thought of the fact
that the missee might not be missing the misser you know… so, its hedonistic!!
But enough of it all... now, I
have decided to 'grow up'. Again... some may say, but this time its serious. I
mean, I am reading books, writing shit like this, watching romantic comedies
with a hint of a tear in my eyes every time a heart-tugging moment comes,
cooking (with a taped leakage in the cylinder)... and basically turning myself
into a matured, focussed and deeply serious person like the protagonist in the
movie.
In any case, the actor... the way
he is built especially, has been the way I always wanted to look since my
childhood... you know tall, lean & serious brooding types. Never have been
successful, but then anytime is a good time to start. So for starters, I now
have a moustache... and I know that the stupid nature won't allow me to be any
taller but at the very least I can try to be leaner before I turn 35 this
March...
Ya, I am only 34, feel a 100...
and wish I am able to act at least 30 ;)
p.s. dear dear ones… please don't believe this $#!t... I
miss you all :P
Dont you think the PS note is too small....It seems like those adverts which say Conditions Apply at the bottom of the page!!!
ReplyDeleteComing to the post...dropbox is cool...You can not only taste the delicious lunchbox...you can even even drop in your entire modern family in it!!!
....and oh do you love to talk...and ppl say I cant stop talking...wait till they meet you!!
And the misser-missee theory...I totally agree to that one!!! :-P
I know, I could not just let go off the child in me by the end of this writeup you see :)
ReplyDeleteBut, its sure is difficult staying the way I am now, you know… it gets to the head… I am literally going crazy, as if that was possible :P
As for talking & its only for my loved ones… well, it always leaves me wanting for more and off late leaves them wanting to snap the call on my face ;)
Its a bad feeling being a drag you know… so, I am trying to grow up and do what grown up do the best… avoid issues and escape… let's see if I succeed…
Honestly, I don't want to :(
You have seen a lot in life, more than most people. If it weren't for the child in you, you wouldn't have survived. At the least, you would be scarred.So, thank that child.
ReplyDeleteAs for missing people, remember the times you have been the missee, in fact, for some people, you still are - your son, who doesnt want to understand the logic that is keeping you away from him. But, like you, he too is waiting for a day of reunion. So, hold on!
I will hold on… for sure, you know me :)
ReplyDeleteAnd I do thank that child every moment, I just don't want to lose it :/
As for me being the missee… awwww… I know its heartbreaking… but one good thing out of all this is that I got to talk to him about the coffee and the stuff… I miss the dude too… just not able to do anything about it :(